I birthed the VOICE this past weekend. Longer post necessary, better takes coming…but when a human steps into embodiment of their purpose and life work, something physical changes. All this talking and posting about birthing the mission ~ how could I have forgotten??? It is the birth of VOICE that pushes through the work. My child, here! O JOYOUS BIRTH~!!
This deserves a story.
Once upon a lifetime, your creatrix Mary Jane became imprinted with sorrow, sadness, sickness, and depressive death. At six months old, I was taken to see my grandfather in the hospital. He was dying. Of lung cancer. His last words were…Mary Jane. I heard that story all my shared life. (Shared through Mom. She’s gone.)
I can easily imagine Pop Pop’s hoarse voice eeeking out my name because it happened EXACTLY the same. Our Mary Jane is now 35 and I am coming home from far away, entering our family’s front door, and hearing my dad joyously croak out my name. Dad lay on his deathbed. He is dying in our living room. Of lung cancer. He will be gone by morning. His last words Mary Jane.
Why do I tell such a dark story in a time of such joy?
Because I married my semen sadness instead of moving home to care for my aging parents. None of that sorrow is here anymore. It almost killed me. Now I am free. (I’ll be telling this story forever, grab a shower, I’ll be here all year.)
Freed in the heart, yes. No, I am not levitating to the bathroom. Yes, I will still be able to call UP the feeling of sorrow. And, no, sorrow will no longer rule my life. Or block my throat as if my life were being threatened, in mortal fear to take my lumps and simply say I’m sorry.
What happened? A combo of prolonged contemplation of life purpose (Human Design & Gene Keys) + a long weekend of copious amounts of good beer, bourbon, and white wine + a few tokes of a super strong joint…throw in breaking up with my intimate human of the last 5.3 years as well as divorcing myself from a worthwhile, non-aligned online community (whew)…
BAM! Birth came. The Voice came. Anticipated but impossible to make happen until, well, surrender to the power.
Thank you, good chaos over a packed long weekend! BAM! I am beginning to tell my story with fury and fever. This feverish OUT DEVIL! OUT! has wiped out the constriction of all those heavy mental-emo weights ~ Worthless; Not Deserving; Whore; Lying Whore; Disgusting Bitch; and (not mine, but also) Not Good Enough; Not Loveable; Reject Me.
Can you imagine how happy I feel to be weightless in these categories? The worth I feel writing up my schedule for where I’ll be sharing my NUDY, 55K FAWK Fellatio project, and much more. I’ll be putting the Pussy General blog behind a private veil to give the best show. I’ll be sharing my real soul in Peace General unafraid that my very being is offensive and wrong.
Old lovers, family, former community, the crotch sniffers…if they find me now, GOOD. I love them now because I love my SELF. The one SELF we are so worthy of birthing anew…
It’s the new worth smell…no longer in HELL.
If you are a survivor of any emotional illness, mental dis-ease, physical OUCH, anything scandalous, sorrowful, or regular ordinary human suffering and you wonder…will I EVER feel whole? The answer is YESH if you practice something good! I’ll be demonstraing how I practice with the Footies, sexual sensual or just suffering, and I’ll be LOVING my SELF as I do.
BAM~! You can catch this fever too. But only if you make LOVE your whole life, starting with you. It is work, not a fridge magnet. (Alone. I love fridge magnets!)
New Worth ~ do you mind if we go out on a few lyrics of a mission song? May this be our work together…
If I give new earth, if I show up for my worth ~ joy and sadness, moving sadnessNew Worth, song by Amelia Energy